Not firing on all cylinders:

The first lockdown I could just about cope with but this time around I am finding it harder and harder , the mental health has taken a huge hit as most of my days are retrospectively spent around the house cleaning and doing laundry ( some day’s I just think why cant the dishes do themselves ) and supposedly moving things from A to B but having done so much work last year I’m just trying to catch up on rest as looking back so much has gone on, and yes the ever impending cloud of redundancy has been looming over my head and the anxiety that is now following of being hired and having to go through the application process again and interview process is overwhelming.

I’ve been trying my best helping our eldest through homeschooling and though I cant fault the school for all they’ve provided to help this is a job, I have to take my hat off to it’s one thing doing scouting as we are not teacher’s and as much as I would like to continue with streaming I haven’t just had the motivation or the mindset to and feel like I should apologise to the guys that have been following me as I want to be there for them but feel like I have a long way to go to work on myself , just trying to be so many thing’s to people somedays I just dont know how we do it to be mother,wife,daughter,sister ,auntie and continue with our smile on our face.

Im sorry as if this feels like a rant but I felt the need to get off my chest as a lot has been weighing me down.

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